self PORTRAIT

The idea of being photographed scares me.

When looking at vacation photos, the only way you know that I was there is because there is photographic evidence of it. The space between the eyepiece and back dial where my thumb rests is where I feel most comfortable. Certainly not staring down the aperture blades of a lens. There have been so many different lighting set ups, camera angles, or studio set ups that I have had over the years that I had never had the opportunity to try. So when I joined the SDF Collective and was given free reign of the studios and various equipment, I knew that this was my chance to be in front of the camera. To finally put those ideas into practice.

All of these photos were shot on my Fujifilm X-T30 with the Fujifilm 18-80mm f/4 and Tiffen Black Pro-Mist 1/8.

A trusty camera that has taken my photography to the next level, a lens that was still so new to me, that I was still very surprised in how gorgeous the photos were. I knew going into the photo session that I wanted to highlight a few things about myself. First off I had that ultra vibrant red hair that ended up falling into line the entire shoot. Next I had this new shirt from this brand Pyknic that has these patterns that fit so well with my inner monologue it’s scary. This isn’t an ad, but seriously check them out.

It’s sick.

Lastly, I have gone through some stuff this past year that made me realize that I was just tired of it all. Tired of not seeing the person I wanted to be. Tired of not wearing the clothes that made me feel good. So I changed that. Got some new pants, new shoes, new socks and a few new shirts. As cliche as it may seem, it really did feel like introducing myself to me. I also knew that I wanted to shoot all in black and white. There was something so intriguing to exclusively play with the shadows and sculpt the light to only exist where I wanted it to which was something that with my current skill set, I could only achieve while shooting in black and white. To recap, outfit, check, camera set up, check, portrayed emotion, check.

It was an incredibly powerful session. It taught me how to move just a portion of my body at a time to achieve the pose that I had in my mind. It taught me to appreciate the way that the light played off my skin and how it wrapped around my body. It taught me to see me for Me, to enjoy the process and cherish the time.